Pizza Boy
by Sugar-Hype-Queen
Summary: All Kai wanted was some pizza. Was that too much to ask? AU,KaRe
1. Chapter 1

**The idea wouldn't leave me alone- the plot bunnies threatened to shove it down my throat if I didn't! So have mercy!**

**-SHQ **

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**PIZZA BOY **

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"I didn't order pizza."

Rei squirmed uncomfortably. Sharp blue eyes peered from a mass of stunning red hair, darting over his countenance in a deeply unsettling way. The black pants and blue polo of his Pizza Shack uniform suddenly felt too skimpy- which was just messed up, as far as he was concerned. _Seriously_.

After weeks of trolling through newspaper wanted ads, it had come down to either

A) Work for Pizza Shack

or

B) Work at that gay bar downtown.

Now here he was after taking choice A) and he **still** got leered at? No fair! At least choice B) had had the possibility of free drinks! Wait… He didn't drink.

Lose-lose situation. Fancy that.

Rei tried to distract himself from all of this, even after the three seconds it took for him to realize it wasn't going to work. Because really, that was such a _fascinating_ crack in the brick over to the side a bit, and- and why oh _why_ hadn't he just gone ahead and ordered a uniform a few sizes larger than he needed like he did for all his other clothes? **Why?!** Oh yeah, company policy.

Suck.

He fumed inwardly at how the Pizza Shack policy makers were a bunch of perverted _**bastards**._

Bolting back to his car was starting to sound like a good idea. Had been for a while actually, roughly around the time Mr. Convivial here opened the door. It'd be _so_ easy- he was a fast runner. Who really needed dignity anyways? It was, like, _so_ twentieth century. Besides, this was his last delivery of the evening. All he really wanted was to go home. Maybe make some hot tea, soak up a long bath- something relaxing, **anything** but this.

Rei continued to avert his eyes, wanting to be anywhere other than this particular front door. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, thoughtfully glancing around. Not to say it wasn't a nice house. It was actually pretty huge, with lots of brick, large glass windows, and curling green shrubbery visible even in the scarce porch light.

It was too nice. Like those big, _nice _houses in movies where a bunch of _nice _young people get together in _nice _clothes in the _nice _house before one of them goes crazy and kills the rest of them- wait, what was he thinking? Paranoia certainly wasn't on his To-Do list when he got up this morning…

He took a breath and fidgeted, causing his long coil of raven hair to sway and bump against his left leg. The red head continued to scrutinize him intensely, causing the Chinese male to harbor a sudden wave of sympathy for all those poor, peace loving animals in the world ever ambushed by predators who watched unblinking from the shadows. This guy had been standing there, Rei thought, for about two minutes already, and he'd blinked _once_. Once! **Once**.

"I'm sorry, sir, are you sure? It's just, I'm pretty sure this is the right address…"

"Like I said."

Rei swallowed. Was it so much to ask for the last delivery to go right? Was it?

Apparently, yes. Yes it was.

"What's going on, Tala?"

They both turned their attention to a tall, muscular newcomer walking up from somewhere behind the poor delivery boy's antagonist. His voice was deep, a mystifying contrast to light green eyes and light purple-grey hair. A small (yet somehow _immensely_ malevolent) crease between his eyebrows conveyed that he was annoyed, and if the world didn't adjust itself within thirty seconds to fix this, there would be hell to pay. At least, that's what Rei got out of it. And he considered himself pretty good at this type of thing.

He frowned upon noticing who was at the door. Rei was (discreetly) horrified. A small voice at the back of his thoughts (which were currently concerning themselves with who might show up at his funeral if they could find the body) reminded him that Choice B) had offered security guards that protected all the staff… Hindsight was so much clearer, wasn't it? The redhead -Tala- on the other hand, was evidently ecstatic. In his own, special, disturbing, oh-God-the-_**nightmares**_ kind of way.

His answer was prompt and purring, and did nothing to put Rei at ease in any way, shape, or form. Indeed, rather the opposite.

"No need to play _dumb_, Bry."

He turned back to drag icy blue eyes up and down Rei's form, smirking with self satisfaction. Rei stared confusedly at the pair, wishing desperately he wasn't glued to the spot so he could make a run for it like he should have in the first place. Max and Tyson were forever going on about how good his judgment was, but obviously Fate hadn't gotten the memo. Stupid, stupid, PMSing Fate! Or maybe it was his fault. Was it because he hadn't stopped by the local shrine this week? Was that it? Rei mentally swore he'd donate at least a fifty when he got out of here, and meditate more often, and help old ladies across the street more if only he could just get _out of_ here-

"It's obvious. You finally came through and ordered us a stripper!"

The Bryan (yes, _The Bryan_) stood stock still, as if he had just been slapped in the face by a fish wielding rockstar. (That's quite a unique reaction, there simply is no mistaking it. Of course, _you_ wouldn't know, that, now _would_ you?)

Slowly, and with much deliberation, he moved past Tala and towards Rei. Just under the roaring voice in his head bellowing at him to flee, _and flee__** now**_, Rei noticed that his figure was not only large and threatening, but also inappropriately dramatic in the scarce lighting of the porch bulb. Like one of those old, black and white mafia-gangster flicks…only not nearly as corny and five hundred times scarier.

His eyes locked with Rei's- harsh and unforgiving. Brutal.

His impossibly low voice lowered, seeping out from tight lips in a bloodcurdling deviation of a growl. Rei backed up involuntarily (not remembering the stairs behind him), hands trembling, knuckles slowly becoming paler and paler from clutching the pizza box so tightly. He realized faintly that his (non-regulation) red headband was damp with sweat, and that his heart was pumping much too quickly. The small part of him not busy being terrified was worried that it might give out. It was interrupted, however, when The Bryan uttered a sentence more venomous than any other the young man had ever heard before.

"_Are you a stripper?"_

Apparently he backed up too much, because the next thing he knew his feet were flying out from under him, and he was no longer looking at any terrifying people- Only a dark, dark night sky, and then darkness alone.

-

"_This feels illegal."_

"_Shut up, Ian! No one asked you."_

"_I can't believe you thought he was a stripper! Is it too much to ask to be able to order some pizza in my own house?"_

"_How was I supposed to know?"_

Rei moaned and shifted, trying to return to his peaceful state of unconsciousness. Warmth surrounded him, numbing his thoughts until they were little more than soft buzzing in his head. It was so nice… but something was ruining it. Noises- Voices. The irritating kind associated with people talking during good movies. Stupid, stupid voices! So _annoying_! Didn't they know he was trying to sleep? So inconsiderate, some people could be.

"_What was that?"_

"_Don't be so loud. You probably woke him up."_

"_Me? _You_ were the one yelling."_

"_Kai, go check on him. You _are_ the one that ordered pizza without even telling us." _

He almost drifted back to sleep, but there was this niggling feeling at the back of his head that maybe something wasn't quite right. Like barbecue sauce on corn, or… or something like that. Logic and reason was for people who were _not _trying to sleep. He wanted to ignore it, but it just _would not quit_. Rei growled lowly in frustration and gave up on sleeping, slowly returning to a state similar to being awake.

Without opening his eyes, he sat up and stretched – slowly, in an unmistakably feline manner. About three seconds into it he noticed his skull was throbbing. With a hiss, he cracked an eye open and brought a hand to rub tenderly at his abused cranium. Jeez, it stung! Maybe he had a hangover? No, that couldn't be it. He didn't remember drinking, and he almost never drank in the first place. So confusing! He was too tired and in too much pain to be thinking so hard anyway.

At least he was on his nice, soft bed- warm and comfortable and safe.

Surrounded by silk covers that he would _never _ever ever_ ever_ be able to afford.

Waaaaiiiiit a _**second!**_

If this wasn't his house, then he hadn't gone home- and if he hadn't gone home, he was either at the last house he delivered to or being _kidnapped! __Maybe both!_

Rei fell off the bed with a soft thunk and was shoving open the window with all intent to climb out when the light was flicked on. With a ghastly, sinking feeling he realized someone was standing in the doorway… probably had been for a while.

Probably since before he woke up.

Double suck.

The window still looked pretty tempting, and it was already partially opened. But he didn't know who was behind him, or what they intended to do if he continued his attempted escape. Rei swallowed the urge to dash through anyway. Okay. He could do this. He was a Kon, by god! He'd show them! He'd show them all!

This particular bout of self righteous anger chose not to express itself just then, however. Instead, it cleverly behind a rather shaky undertone of dread. Perhaps… Yes, yes… I believe it decided it needed to calm down before it did anything irrational.

"U-uh… Please don't hurt me?"

(See? Told you so.)

"If you don't sue."

He assumed (hoped-prayed-desperately-_wished_) that that was supposed to be a joke. Of some sort. Perhaps the evil sort, but still... It sounded like the voice that had been arguing about being able to order pizza in his own house- it didn't sound like Tala or The Bryan. With this as encouragement, Rei took his chances and slowly shifted his feet on the hardwood floor that was-not-his and lifted his eyes to observe the stranger behind him. He observed and observed. And observed a little bit more after that- then he kept on observing.

"How do you feel?"

Uncomfortably warm, Rei thought. Why were his eyes red? Was that natural? And his hair, it was a darkish slate in the front and a deep blue in the back- what was up with that? Rei had to admit it suited him perfectly, though. His countenance burned itself into Rei's mind- soon he was practically overflowing with thoughts questions about the young man before him. Lost in these musings Rei didn't noticed that he'd apparently decided he'd observe him for just a bit longer…

"Sorry, what was that?"

"I asked how are you were feeling."

"Uh… You're the one who ordered the pizza, right?"

"…Yes. Would you like to sit down?"

"I don't think I have a concussion, if that's what you're thinking. I don't feel sick. I just- Well, where am I again?"

"Sit down."

Rei closed his eyes and rubbed them for a few seconds, trying to get his thoughts in order. He didn't really have a concussion, did he? That would really, like…Suck. Like, really. An irrational, yet persistent fear of being sick in front of him pestered Rei, insisting that it would be humiliating beyond what he could ever hope to handle. But- Wait… Didn't this count as humiliating? Maybe? Just a little? The Chinese male mentally wrestled with this while the apparent Orderer of the Pizza stood before him, watching intently. Abruptly, he lifted his head and made eye contact.

"I'm Rei, by the way. What's your name?"

"…Kai."

"Hello Kai- It's nice to meet you. I'm not a stripper…just so you know."

"Nice to meet you, too. I'm not going to kill _or_ kidnap you. I won't even let the idiots outside try anything…just so you know."

Rei's face brightened into a warm red as he chuckled. Kai smirked in front of him. It was an expression that stuck him as more than a bit peculiar- not in a bad way, just different. Interesting. His lips lifted in such a particular manner as to make him look twice, and then not want to look away- his eyes narrowed slightly in a captivating conveyance of amusement. The blush didn't go away, but Rei couldn't bring himself to care.

A few minutes, threats, growls, screams, and doorslams later, Rei was back in his car- Kai was leaning against the smooth painted metal of the door in such a way that if Rei didn't know better, he would never have guessed the turmoil he'd just gone through just to order some pizza.

" Sorry about what happened. They can be really stupid, but they're not…_completely_…evil. Here." The slate haired male shoved something into Rei's hand and straightened up, tuning to leave. "I'll see you later, Rei."

As he disappeared beyond the shadow heavy bend of the driveway, Rei took a deep breath. It was about 3:30 in the morning. Things didn't, he thought to himself, go exactly according to plan, now did they? He'd just become the star of his own personal cheesy horror flick, minus the sloppy open mouthed kiss at the ending. At least he'd met Kai…

…As if someone who lived in such a nice house would even want to _associate_ with a pizza boy. The thought made him bite his lip so hard that his fangs made impressions on the skin. A bad habit, he knew. Still, though… He sighed, opening the hand Kai had pushed something into. He didn't feel like driving right now. Tonight had been…interesting. Not that he fancied facing The Bryan again. No, no thanks. But he had to admit, it was a lot less boring than what he'd been planning to do that night. In his hand was a folded up fifty dollar bill- Rei had to consciously stop himself from _drooling_. Underneath the spectacular slip of currency was a slip of paper with a phone number on it, and a name:

_Kai Hiwatari_

"Hiwatari Kai-san…"

Rei licked his lips- the name tasted good in his mouth.

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**You're awesome for reading, now go to the next level and review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Rei, generally speaking, liked blonds.

They were nice people- fun and really friendly, even if a bit ditzy. Not that he could throw stones in that direction. But yeah- he could say in complete and perfect honesty that he thought blonds were some of the most convivial, cheerful, wonderful people on the face of the planet.

Except for right then.

At that moment in time, he thought, they could all _rot _in the Fiery Pit. They could, he thought, rot and burn and burn and rot, and then rot some more. Yeah, he thought bitterly, yeah, that'd be about right. What brought about such sudden hostility towards the fairer-haired portion of the world, you ask?

Let's rewind.

OOO

_The air inside the restaurant was thick with the spiced scent of ramen, warm and inviting. About a dozen people were seated at cozy little tables, slurping cheerily from steaming bowls, talking and laughing. A lone figure was excluded from the merry making, his misery pulsing almost palpably through the air in his vicinity. _

_He was slumped lazily over the counter, and his long coil of shiny black hair slid down his back to hang down behind him. It resembled the drooping tail of a kicked animal. _

_He sighed._

_With the ease of a gesture well practiced, he drew his wrist up directly in front of two feline amber eyes, blinked, and sighed once more. Staring dolefully at the shiny reflective surface of the counter, a tanned, somber face staring back at him, he voiced quietly the one thought that was slowly sucking him into a sticky black pit of misery._

"_I am being stood up," he whispered._

_No one heard him._

_He sucked in a long breath of air, preparing to sigh once more, but he never got a chance to. He was too busy being knocked clean off of his chair by a blur of bright, clashing colors and onto the scuffed wooden floor below. He groaned._

_Unfortunately, when Max glomped someone, he did it fangirl style. _

_Minus the drooling. Usually._

"Buddy!" _the blond exclaimed, trapping the other male in a bear hug so tight Rei could have sworn he heard his rib cage snap in several places. Still, a sincere smile managed to work its way forward around his grimace of pain. "Max," he wheezed. _

_Said individual released him from the bone-fracturing embrace with a 100 watt smile that evaporated Rei's Gloom with its unforgiving brightness._

"_Hey, what was with that frown? I was passing by, and I saw that hair of yours, and I knew it had to be you, so I decided I'd drop in and say hi, and you were doing an impression of Takao when we've run out of ice cream-"_

"_-Max, slow down, I'm fine,"_

"_-and I got so _worried_!" Max continued, ignoring his friend's words. Instead, he once again threw his arms around Rei, pressing his fluffy blonde head onto his friend's shoulder. This time it, Rei thought, panicking slightly, he's wasn't going to let go. The rant went on._

"_So I thought I'd give you a big ole hug to cheer you up! Tell it to me straight, man, what's wrong? Are you sick? Did you get fired? Did Drigger die? Tell me the truth, Rei! I need to know!" he wailed, eyes tearing up dramatically. Rei wished a hole would open up and swallow him._

"_I'm just waiting for someone, Max," he muttered, voice almost inaudible from lack of air._

"_Who?" Max cried. Rei could just imagine how his head was probably filling with images of mafia bosses with Kalashnikovs demanding the apocryphal money that he owed them before spraying him with a leaden shower of bullets, cackling evilly in unspeakable… well, evil._

_Rei rolled his eyes._

"_I'm waiting for-"_

_In rolling his eyes, something was brought to his attention. Something in black jeans and a black, somewhat clingy (just enough, though) shirt. Something with messy, yet devastatingly gorgeous sweeps of blue and grey hair. Something with fiery claret for eyes. Something that… come to think of it, didn't look particularly happy with what he was seeing. Rei swallowed._

"_-him. I'm… was… waiting," he finished lamely._

_Something known as Kai Hiwatari walked closer- he did not saunter, nor did he glide. Just walked. Still, the sight did not fail to make Rei feel his chest was on fire, making it harder and harder to breathe. Once he'd reached the two of them (Max had loosened his vice like hold on his friend in exchange for a cursory arm slung about the waist. He was staring at Kai with open curiosity.), his expression became indiscernible. _

"_Who's he?" Kai asked._

_His face was still blank, but, it quickly became apparent that, theoretically, one could tell from his tone of voice that everything was __**Not**__ fine-and-dandy in Kai World. Ohhhh no, far from it._

OOO

Okay, that's enough. Understand the situation?

Max still had his arm around Rei's waist, and that whole 'indiscernible look' thing was flying out the window _fast_, making way for the infamous Pissed as Hell look that Tala and the Bryan had faced last week, on the day that they met… Whoa, okay. Now was not the time to act like a, a- a love sick Korean school girl!

…Korean school girl? Where'd he get that from?

Inwardly, he winced. Max's life was in mortal danger, and all he could think about was Korean school girls.

…Well.

He supposed he ought to do something. Otherwise, this foolish, foolish blonde would end up dead, because one of two things was about to happen to the (apparently colorblind; what was he _wearing_?) blonde wonder. Either A), Rei would kill him for royally screwing him over on a chance with Kai, or B), Kai would kill him for touching Rei. As lovely as that last part made him feel, there was that whole Max-being-dead aspect, so the neko-jin opened his mouth to say something that would hopefully, maybe fix this-

Max choose that moment to remove his arm from Rei, bounce over to Kai, and turn up the juice on that blinding smile of his, upping it to roughly around about 2,500 watts. He put out his left hand (Max was left handed- wonders never cease.) to shake, and, still beaming, introduced himself.

"Hiya! You can call me Max," he gushed, "I'm one of Rei's buddies, and it's _awesome_ to meet you! Any friend of his is a friend of mine!"

His teeth glared a blinding white- the people behind Kai glanced nervously at the source of the unbearable light, wondering quietly to themselves how it was possible for someone's smile to really, physically _do that_. The blue haired young man seemed frozen in shock.

Too late, Rei thought. His mouth was suddenly dry, and he couldn't seem to make himself move. Not only, he thought, have you shot down any chance I had with him, but Maxie, old buddy, old pal, you managed to kill yourself in the process. Sayonara. Happy trails. Don't ask for whom the bell tolls, dude, 'cause the bell tolls for _thee_.

Kai, however, did something that did not speak of funeral bells in the near future.

Instead, he nodded at Max.

Nodded.

In a totally, non-threatening, non-_I-will-Make-You-Pay_, non-hostile greeting. Rei was confused, but now was his _chance_, the time to take _action_, because Rei Kon was _not_ about to let Fate, that PMSing _bitch_, try and screw him over again within the next couple of minutes.

And take action he did.

"Max, Kai- Kai, Max. Wonderful, hey?"

Rei was going a hundred miles a minute, taking Max by the arm and shoving him gently towards the door, not letting the confused boy get a word in edgewise.

"Yeah? Cool- well, now that he's here, we got stuff to do," he continued, "So why don't you go tell Takao that he still owes me twenty bucks worth of groceries alright? Yeah? Wonderful. Bye Maxie, take care, see you _later_!"

Exit Max, stage right.

Rei smirked…

"Hey," a low voice sounded behind him.

…and turned around, a Cheshire Cat grin wide on his face.

"Kai." he stated, opting to keep it as simple as possible before commencing Operation Change the Topic.

Which commenced in exactly 5…4…3…

"What kind of ramen do you like?"

Claret eyes shadowed briefly, and Kai faltered. He simply stared at Rei for a few seconds… some of the longest second's of the neko-jin's life, by far.

And then, miracle if miracles…!

"Ramen?" said Kai.

"Definitely," replied Rei, smiling gratefully.

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**Sorry for the long delay, but you have to understand that I -tragedy of tragedies- currently do not own a computer. I'm using a library one. such a loser But, before the timer thingy tells me times up, I wanted to post this little bit and walk my brok butt home. I hope you enjoyed it. -SHQ**


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